“For” or “With”, building memories

Usually here on our farm we try to keep things light hearted & humorous, let’s face it, there is a lot of depressing news out there & it’s easy to fall down that slippery slope. But today I’m writing about something a little more personal, something to give you pause & think about the direction your life is going in, reflection of the past as well.

So on my ride into work I have a lot of time to think, it’s a 50 minute ride each way on a good day. I was thinking of a friend of ours, single mom, had it hard at times, made sure her kids got to do a lot of things as they grew up but is sad since they are older now & don’t have that much to do with her. Now some of that is of course the age they are at, wanting to be with friends more than family, I get that, I remember being that way. But for her it ran deeper, they don’t seem to appreciate what they have or her sacrifices, she seems somehow disappointed that there is a bond missing.

As I was driving along all of this suddenly popped into my head, not sure why, nothing my kids did or anything like that. But I got thinking about how close I feel to my parents, how I hope our kids feel the same towards us & wondering why do our friends children not have that connection? Now our kids are still young of course so I don’t know how that will work out for us but it just got me thinking.

For or with?

Our friend had done a lot For her kids from making sure they had the best clothes, made every sport practice & game & had some very nice vacations. But I could not remember the last time she did anything With her kids? She would make supper for them, clean the house for them, take them to games and cheer for them, go on vacation someplace for them to have a good time but where was the with? She didn’t have them help with supper, help with cleaning, play sports with them.

I think that is where the farm life is different or should be. But be careful of separation, them off doing one chore while you do another so you can get more accomplished. As a child I did a lot of work With my parents, not For my parents. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, it just matters that your doing it with each other. If you are doing chores add a song, if you have a minute, throw a ball with them, if folding laundry make it a race, it doesn’t have to cost much money, just time.

Now of course we all have things we do for our families, I leave my home between 11 & 12 hours each work day For my family so they can have a nice home & have health care. But I try my hardest to make sure I do at least one thing with them each night. My wife does even more with them being a work at home mom.

So next time you’re doing something for the benefit of your kids, ask yourself are you doing something for them that you could be doing with them? God Bless.

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